The Trailing Spouse

כתבה שפורסמה באוגוסט 2015 על ידי רחלי אורן ומתארת את סדנאות הרילוקיישן שהעברנו בסינגפור. מוזמנים לקרוא: נפגשתי עם טלי גורן ונטע בראל לשיחה על הסדנה אותה הן מעבירות. שתיהן חיות מזה שנים רבות ברילוקיישן, וחווות מעברים עם המשפחות והילדים. טלי התחילה את נדודי המשפחה ברילוקיישן לקליפורניה, ארה״ב, שם חיו 6 שנים בשלש מדינות שונות ושם גם נולדו ילדיהם. משם עברו לשנתיים באוסטרליה, חזרו לשש שנים בארץ, ויצאו בפעם הרביעית לסינגפור למשך שלוש שנים וחצי. ביוני מתוכנן כבר המעבר החמישי להונג קונג. נטע בראל הגיעה לסינגפור ב 1998 לפני 17 שנה, וחיו כאן שלוש וחצי שנים. מכאן עברו לניו יורק, חזרו […]

טלי גורן ונטע בראל – סדנאות רילוקיישן

I’m 43, have been a trailing wife for the last 20 years, never had the opportunity/time/right family situation/legal right to start my own career path and now that the setting is finally perfect is it not too late for me??? A few months ago it suddenly dawned on me. Now it’s my turn. For years, I lived the wonderful colourful life of a trailing spouse. More than twenty years ago we landed in the US. Young couple with 4 suitcases and only one E1 visa. Sorry, no work permit for the spouse, we were told. And that was fine. Resorting […]

Trailing spouse embarking on a new career path

Recently I have finished writing the first draft of the booklet that will accompany my upcoming workshops. This booklet is based on the materials I am presenting in these workshops, as well as comments and reflections from my own experience of the last 20 relocation years and from experiences of fellow expat wives. The concluding chapter of the booklet (after family adjustment, and TCK) deals with the part we ‘expat wives’/’relocation partners’/’trailing spouses’ have in this task (and since I and most of the participants in my workshops are women, I refer mostly to this group). As literature describes it, while […]

Relocating spouses – balancing transition experiences

“You’re missing a stage” she said as we were staring together at the famous U-curve. Like savvy hunters comparing stripes on their belts we were comparing our relocation adventures. Trying to fit each story to a unique shape of yet another alteration to the expat adjustment cycle. I thought we felt quite comfortable with the modern flexibility of the U-curve (or J, or Linear, or a mere tangle, you name it) but she repeated her statement – more fiercely this time – “You’re missing a stage”. My surprised look encouraged her to continue and she pointed to the plateau at the end […]

As we detach – getting ready to say goodbye

Relocating together
I’ve read your post of Curves and Adjustments, she called to say a few days ago. I can definitely relate to the curve, but I’m not sure it’s unique to the expat experience. Well, I said, the U Curve has been used to describe cultural adjustment since the 50’s (Lysgaard first used it in 1955 to describe the adjustment of Norwegian students to the US), but it can sure remind me of many other adjustments in my life. As I was saying that my daughter’s adjustment to her new kindergarten came into my mind. Cheerful and excited she walked hand […]

What’s unique about those relocation adjustments?

Relocation adjustment is commonly described using the famous four phased U-curve. While reviewing the curve I reflected back to the beginning of our first relocation from Israel to the Silicon Valley, California. We arrived in San Jose in 1997 – young newlywed couple, and no doubt – we had it going! Living just around the corner from San Francisco it sure was a real honeymoon period. Everything seemed like a dream. Rollerblading on the dock in front of the Golden Gate, munching on wonderful food, engaging ourselves in the local ‘shop till you drop’ –  living the American dream, at […]

Of Curves and Adjustments

An introduction to commonly used and less familiar models of adjustment The process of adjustment, and in particular the relocation adjustment is commonly described using four key phases: The Honeymoon / Euphoria phase: This phase includes the period immediately before and after the transition. At this time, the experience is new and exciting. Energy and enthusiasm are at their peak and the transition feels like a long and exciting trip. The Crisis / Cultural Shock phase: At this stage feelings of dissatisfaction and hardship are starting to emerge as the initial excitement is replaced by a feeling of discomfort. This stage […]

Relocation Adjustment – descriptive models